Breaking the Silence
by ClairePace19
Summary: The time to tell them has finally come. But what will they say? Warnings: Incest, Rated T to be sure because of implied sex
1. Chapter 1

A friend of mine had that idea some time ago, because I wanted to do an Edmund/Susan fanfic, as there are none so far from what I've seen, which is sad as I think that this is an interesting ship. And they work much better than Susan/Caspian.

**A/N:** I know, I know. This is incest and all that, and I belong to hell, I will have to answer it one day and you can't believe how unrighteous this fanfiction is. Please tell me something I don't know already, or else: please don't flame.

**Disclaimer: I'm not C.S. Lewis. If I were, then I wouldn't write anything about incest, but about siblings loving each other in a holy and happy way. So, I don't own anything but my imagination.**

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„Come on, Ed, I know you can do this better!"

Edmund gave a little yell of surprise as his brother Peter disarmed him without any effort.

"What's the matter with you today?" Peter asked, handing him back his sword.

"Um, I don't know. I think I feel a bit under the weather, that's all." Edmund answered, putting his sword back into its sheath.

On her balcony, Susan watched her brothers while they trained sword fighting. She smiled as she saw that Edmund was extremely distracted. She knew why her brother was distracted – in fact she was the reason for his behaviour. If it hadn't been for her, Peter would never have had the chance to disarm Edmund so lightly.

Susan closed her eyes, remembering the past hours she had spent with her younger brother. Breathing deeply, she felt that her cheeks grew warm and her knees purportedly turned to jelly. As she opened her eyes again, the short moment was gone and she looked at Peter, who was showing Edmund a new trick with the sword. Susan sighed a bit. They had such a close relationship now, and Susan was about to ruin it for both of them. She thought back to the start of it all.

"_Hello," Edmund said in a small voice.__ Susan looked at him – all the bruises he had, the cut on his lip, his pale face and the dark shadows under his eyes. She was torn between joy and anger: joy at having her brother back, anger at the White Witch who had hurt him so much. It wasn't only the physical pain she had given him. Susan also saw the psychological damage the Witch had done and hoped Edmund would get over it some day. He didn't deserve a life blemished as a traitor._

_Lucy ran forward to hug Edmund and Susan shot a quick glance at Peter. He seemed to be in disunion whether he should yell at or hug Edmund. Susan hoped that he would decide to do the second, as a telling-off was the last thing Edmund could use now. She went forward to hug him too, while he had still his arms wrapped around his little sister, with a peaceful smile on his face. She laid a hand on his arm and felt the heat of his body, as Edmund finally let go of Lucy and hugged Susan, who enjoyed it a bit too much to be that near to him. Oh dear, what was that she was feeling? Susan let go of her brother, a smile plastered on her face to hide her confusion._

"_Are you alright?" she asked, while she wanted to know quite other things._

"_That boy," the White Witch said, pointing cruelly at Edmund. "Will die on the Stone Table, as is tradition."_

_Her little scream of terror never passed Susan's lips as she saw that Edmund had begun to tremble. Surely this wasn't real. She had just gotten her brother back, Peter and Edmund had begun to repair what had happened between the two of them, and Susan had begun to see a little change in her brother's behaviour. The Witch can't take him away – not now, not anytime. It wasn't fair. Susan choked back her tears as she watched the Witch going into the tent with Aslan to talk to him. _

_They sat down in the grass. Edmund began to pick at some blades with an unreadable expression, Lucy seemed to be clearly bored, and Peter and Susan sat there in silence, fearing what would happen. The minutes seemed to change into hours as finally the Witch came out of the tent, giving Edmund another one of her cruel looks. After her, Aslan came out, looking at Edmund too._

"_She has renounced the claim on the Son of Adam's blood." he spoke. Relieved, Susan began to laugh, hugging Edmund from behind. Once again, she felt the heat of his body and something in her stomach stirred. What was up with her?_

"_Where's Edmund?" Susan asked, dreading the answer._

_Peter looked to the right helplessly__, tears in his eyes, and Susan ran off with her siblings in tow. By the time she found Edmund, he was lying on the ground, clutching his stomach and groaning. A dwarf was stumbling his way to him, his axe at the ready. Susan didn't think twice – she drew her bow and shot the dwarf dead in the first attempt. Then she ran to her brother, taking off his helmet and laying his head in her lap. She stroked his hair and changed a concerned look with Lucy, who had opened her cordial. Lucy poured a drop of the red elixir into Edmund's mouth and the three siblings watched their brother anxiously._

_F__irst nothing happened, then Edmund stopped breathing. In that very moment Susan's heart missed a beat and she felt tears running down her cheek. He couldn't be dead, he just couldn't. Susan prayed to everything she had ever believed in that Edmund would wake up and looked at Peter, who was crying too, while she heard Lucy beginning to sob. Stroking his still warm cheeks, Susan waited, hoping against hope that Edmund would wake up._

_And then __he coughed. Susan stared, her heart missing a beat again, as Edmund opened his eyes with a painful expression. Painful, but he was alive. She blinked away her tears, smiling widely as she watched Peter pulling Edmund into a tight hug. Susan thought she was never more relieved in her entire life._

Susan sighed again. Not long after their coronation she had begun to understand what she was feeling, but she hadn't liked it at all. She had understood that she had fallen in love with her younger brother. First she had tried to ignore this feeling, because surely it hadn't been normal. It wasn't normal to fall in love with your brother. And while she had struggled with herself, trying to forget what she was feeling, Edmund had begun to live again. He and Peter had become real brothers again, and nothing of the Edmund who would betray his siblings for sweets and a crown had been there anymore.

The harder Susan had tried to ignore her feelings, the stronger they had been, until she had finally realised that she couldn't ignore them forever.

"_Hey Susan," an Edmund who was almost fourteen years__ old greeted her in the morning. "That's a nice dress you're wearing."_

_Susan blushed furiously and answered chokingly: "You're handsome too in that tunic."_

_Edmund looked down at his chest, confused. As he looked up at her again, he raised an amused eyebrow._

"_That's the same I was wearing yesterday. Did you want to mock me?"_

"_Um, no." Susan mentally slapped herself. Really, was it that hard to show her brother her affections?_

"_Could you pass me the plate with pancakes?"_

_Her hand shortly touched Edmund's as he took the plate from her, and she swallowed, blushing even more. Edmund looked at her solicitously._

"_Are you alright? You seem a bit strange today."_

_Even if Edmund was only a year younger* than Susan, he had no clue. She sighed in frustration, cursing the male gender. They were so unbelievingly naïve sometimes!_

It had taken Edmund three years to finally see what Susan felt for him. Three years, which had been a torture for Susan, torn between her affections which became unbearable with the years, and her mind that told her that she could never love Edmund in the way she wanted to. But what she immediately recognised were the signs as Edmund began to return her affections.

_It was the day of the Yule Ball in Cair Paravel. Susan wasn't looking forward to it – all she wanted was lying in her bed and weeping. It had been an exceptionally bad day. Edmund had grown into a __very handsome young man and she had no idea if she could resist him any longer. Sooner or later he would find out and then…_

_No, she couldn't think these things. She__ got dressed, let her maid pin up her hair and went to the ball, determined to enjoy herself. Maybe she could seduce another Duke that night, even if she would imagine him being her brother._

_But as she arrived in the hall, being announced as Queen Susan of Narnia, the only one she wanted to see was Edmund. And then she found him – standing next to the refreshments on his own, watching the dancing couples with a sad expression in his dark eyes. Even so, he was exceptionally handsome in his kingly outfit. Susan went to greet him._

_As Edmund recognised her, his eyes grew wide. "Susan, you're beautiful." he said earnestly._

_Susan smiled a bit and saw that he was extremely pale and had dark shadows under his eyes – in fact, she hadn't seen him looking so worn out since he had c__ome back from the White Witch._

_Immersed in thoughts, she let her eyes wander around in the room, just to look at Edmund and find that he had been staring at her all the time._

"_Everything alright?" Susan asked._

"_Yeah," he sighed a bit, again with one of his unreadable expressions. _

_Susan knew too much about broken hearts not to see what bothered him. She just didn't know if she was right – because if she was, then they both belonged to hell._

_It had been no funny evening, and long before midnight Susan found herself sitting lonely in a corner, only wanting to go to bed. She hadn't seen Edmund for the past hour and thought that he had gone to his chambers as he looked as if he could use a good night's sleep, as she suddenly saw him making his way to her._

"_Aren't you enjoying yourself? I thought you loved balls," he stated, sitting down next to her._

"_I don't know," Susan shrugged. "I think I need some fresh air and then I'm going to bed. I'm not feeling very well."_

"_Can I come with you? Maybe I'm in need of fresh air too."_

_And so they set off together, walking in silence in the cold winter air. Susan shot a glance at her brother every once in a while, wondering if he really was in love with her as she was in love with him. She struggled to find words, as Edmund suddenly spoke:_

"_That's weird, you know. I mean, walking here with you."_

"_What do you mean?" Susan asked, her heart skipping a beat. What if he meant what she thought he meant?_

_Edmund looked at her nervously. "I-I don't know how to put this. Maybe you'll never speak a word with me if I tell you."_

"_If you tell me what?"_

_He didn't answer, but laid a hand on her arm to stop her pace. They looked each other in the eyes and Susan felt her heart race._

"_I'm sorry, Susan." Edmund said before he closed the distance between the two of them and pressed his lips softly against hers._

Two months had passed, two months in which none of them had cared what would happen if anyone found out. But the time to finally tell anyone had come, Susan knew that. At least, they had to tell their siblings. She sighed. What if this destroyed the relationship between Peter and Edmund completely? And what about Lucy? She was only thirteen years old and needed someone to trust. How could she trust her sister if Susan had a relationship with her brother that went far from any sibling relationship?

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*** ****the ages in this fanfiction** are those from the films (to be seen for example in the FAQs on NarniaWeb). So, they are as follows: Lucy is 13, Edmund 17, Susan 18 and Peter 19, going on 20.


	2. Chapter 2

** Don-Jam:** thank you! I think it's such an interesting ship, it's done far too less.

**A/N:** This time it's from Edmund's point of view.

**Disclaimer: Nope, not C.S. Lewis.**

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Edmund came from sword practise with his brother Peter, being all sweaty, nifty and dirty. He wished he still had the time to sleep one hour or another before dinner as he was pretty exhausted, but he knew he just had time for a change of clothes and to have a wash. As he raised his arm to sniff at himself, he wrinkled his nose.

"Urgh. Seems as if I really need to take a bath…" he mumbled to himself as he entered his chambers and went to search some fresh clothes and draw himself a bath.

While Edmund did so, his mind wandered to Susan. He had seen her standing on her balcony, watching their practise, and that had distracted him so much that Peter had a walk-over with him. He couldn't wait to see her at dinner again, and asked himself (for what seemed to be the hundredth time) what he had done to deserve her.

_Edmund looked into Susan's beautiful grey eyes and figured how he should do this. He had looked into the eyes of numerous girls before, every time before he__ had kissed them. In the past year, in which he had finally noticed the female gender, he had had more girlfriends as he could count on both of his hands, but no one had been the right for him. He would seduce and after a while ditch them, because he wasn't happy with any of them. Some were too serious, others were too witty. Some were too daft, others were extremely clinging. It wasn't until two weeks ago that he found out what his problem was: it wasn't the girls he had been with, it was himself, because he had fallen in love with his beautiful sister. _

_And now he stood there, looking into her eyes on a walk in the night, a walk he had done with so many girls before. _

"_I'm sorry, Susan," he said, meaning every word of it. And finally he had the courage to bring their lips together. It wasn't that he had no self-confidence – in fact, Edmund was known as a very good kisser and many girls adored him – but this was his sister, someone who deserved better than her younger brother who was in love with her in a most unholy way. _

_What surprised him, though, was that she kissed him back, pulling her arms around his neck and sighing in what seemed to be a relieved way. They both began to stagger as the kiss deepened and became more and more passionate and Edmund forced his sister to stumble the way to the next tree. He grabbed her wrists and pressed her against the tree, trailing kisses all the way down her throat and causing long-drawn moans. Susan's fingernails dug into his flesh as she freed her hands and clutched his neck tightly._

Edmund shivered as he thought of what had also happened in this night. He shook his head, as he was done bathing and getting dressed and he needed to have a clear mind at dinner. There had been some close moments when his mind had wandered to his sister during any of the meals, and he really didn't need another one of those moments. Forcing his mind upon different matters, he walked to the dining room.

As he sat down (a little bit too late), though, he noticed that Susan wasn't there. He took a sip of his wine, and asked, trying to sound all casual: "Where's Susan?"

"She's in her chambers," Lucy answered. "She told me she wasn't feeling very well and wasn't hungry."

Concerned, Edmund began to eat. He hoped that it was nothing too serious and decided to look after his sister as soon as he was done with dinner. The thought of seeing her again quickened his meal and he was finished long before Peter and Lucy were.

"I think I'm going to bed," he said, getting up. "I'm tired from practise today. Maybe I'll drop in at Susan's to check upon her."

Quietly Edmund knocked at Susan's door and entered her chambers without waiting for any response. She was standing in front of the window, with her back to the door, and Edmund had some seconds' time to take in her silhouette and her female curves which he loved so much. He sighed quietly and Susan turned around, facing him.

"Edmund!" she cried, running the short way towards him and throwing herself into his arms. He thought he heard a little sob as Susan buried her face in his neck. "Finally," she whispered.

"What's the matter, Susan?" Edmund asked, caressing her back as he felt that she was upset. "Lucy said you were not feeling well."

"That was only more or less true," Susan answered, looking up. "We really need to talk. I-I don't think I can do this any longer."

"What do you mean?" Edmund guided his sister the way to her bed and they both sat down. Susan laid her head on his shoulder, allowing him to continue his caressing.

"We need to tell them. At least Lucy and Peter. I mean, they've got a right to know."

"You mean we should tell them about us? Lion's mane, Susan, do you know what this means?"

Susan said nothing, but Edmund thought he heard another sob. Nonetheless he continued, as his sister had definitely gone mad.

"How do you want to tell them that…that…that we're doing what we're doing? Do you really think they would understand? Do you think they'd understand the love we share? I mean, not even I understand what it is I'm feeling, I just know that I love you as I never loved anyone before. But Lucy and Peter can't understand this. Do you really want to tell them that we're not only brother and sister, but that we've been sleeping with each other for the past two months? Damn it, Susan, they'd _never_ understand."

"And do you want to continue lying forever? Everyday we're not telling them we're lying to them, and I just can't live with this lie anymore."

Edmund got up, pacing up and down in front of Susan and running his hand through his hair several times until it was completely dishevelled.

"And what," he began, his voice trembling with fear. "Do you think they will say?"

"I don't know. But nothing is any worse than never telling them."

"Nothing?" Edmund stopped in his pace, taking Susan's hands. He noticed that they were cold and sweaty. "Susan, I almost lost Peter before. I know it was my entire fault, but I don't want this to repeat itself. And Lucy…you don't know how important you are to her."

"Do you think it'd be better if they found out themselves, catching us in the act like some criminals? And sooner or later, they're going to find out. Don't you want to tell them willingly, at a time you choose yourself?"

Edmund sighed. She was insane, completely insane. And still, she had a point. But he was afraid what would happen. What if Peter's natural protective instinct would be awakened? Edmund wanted to continue that good relationship with his brother he had built the past years. And still…

Again, Edmund ran a hand through his hair. "Alright," he said. "Alright, we tell them. But I want you to promise that, whatever happens, whatever they're going to say, you won't turn your back on me. Even if they're going to outlaw what we're sharing or anything…"

Susan stood up, tears in her eyes, and Edmund felt that his eyes were burning too. "Of course, Ed. I'll never turn my back on you. But we really have to tell them."

Almost naturally, their lips met, and they embraced each other so tightly Edmund couldn't figure out whose tears he had on his cheeks.

"Could you stay here for the night?" Susan asked as they had pulled apart.

"Of course," Edmund answered.

They both lay down in Susan's bed. Edmund felt that it wasn't about sex that night – his sister needed him to be with her, and he would ever be with her if she needed him. He tucked them both in and took Susan's hand under the sheets. She moved until their bodies met in a warm embrace and heaved a content sigh.

"I love you." Susan said, reaching up to curl a strand of Edmund's hair around her finger.

"I love you too. Forever more." Edmund answered, gently kissing her temple. He feared what would happen when they told their siblings, but whatever they'd say – he would never leave Susan. Finally, he had found his true love.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Finally Lucy and Peter's reaction, yay! Although I'm not receiving all to much reviews, sigh.

**Disclaimer: Not mine. **

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Edmund was frustrated. Lucy kept on talking and talking about whatever (he didn't really pay attention as he was rather nervous about the conversation which was to follow) while the four siblings sat together to eat their breakfast. He kept on shooting glances at Susan, who was paler as usual, but seemed to be determined. Burying his face in his hands, Edmund sighed. This would be much more difficult than he thought.

As Lucy finally seemed to be done talking (or had eaten a rather big bite of bread) he cleared his throat, drawing the attention of all his siblings at him. Susan looked at him with an encouraging smile and Edmund began: "Er, I, um, need to tell you something. I mean, we need to tell you something."

"'We'?" Peter asked.

"Yes. Uh, Peter, haven't you said some months ago you wished I would choose a girl to have a proper relationship with?"

"I did, but I don't think your sisters should hear of your, um, amorous adventures."

"Well, then…maybe you're glad to know that these, uh, you call it adventures, have come to an end." With these words, Edmund changed a meaningful look with Susan and took her hand.

"What the…?" Peter dropped his bagel as he understood the meaning of this simple gesture.

"Finally," Lucy stated matter-of-factly. "I've been wondering when you'd finally come out with this."

Peter looked at Edmund, as if he wanted an affirmation from his brother's lips. As Edmund nodded, he saw that Peter swallowed hard.

"Lucy, could you leave us three alone for a moment?" Peter asked, his tone soft, but everyone heard the tremble in his voice.

"Why?" Lucy asked. It couldn't have been clearer that she wanted to know everything that was being said between her older siblings.

"Because I say so."

With an indignant glare, Lucy went out. Edmund felt discouraged – Lucy's behaviour had meant to him that she approved his relationship with Susan, but his brother seemed to have a longer talk in mind.

"Let me get straight to the point," Peter began, looking directly at Susan. "Have you lost your mind? Whereto is all your logic gone? Your sense of responsibility? Do you really think that this is…normal or anything? For heaven's sake, Susan, he's your brother!"

"Um, Peter, you know it's not her entire fault?" Edmund couldn't believe it. Did Peter really think that Susan had seduced him? If so, then Peter didn't know Edmund at all…

Peter looked at Edmund, quite stunned. Then he said, rather calmly, but Edmund knew that he was trying hard to control his temper: "Did no one of you two think about this at all? I mean, you can't just say that you're in a relationship or anything, that's just not right. Edmund, I would have thought you've got a better sense of judgement. Don't you know our laws better than anyone in Narnia?"

"I do," Edmund responded, his voice trembling. "And the law says nothing about siblings being forbidden to have a relationship. In my opinion, you're the only who has a problem with that."

"For good reason, because it's not normal!" Peter couldn't control his anger anymore and became louder. Edmund sprang to his feet, and wanted to say something, but his brother cut across him. "Don't you two think of Narnia? What should our subjects say? What should _Lucy _say? Do you really think it's good for her to grow up with such examples?"

"You don't care for Lucy!" Edmund shouted, not caring that everyone could hear him. "If you would, you would've seen that she's perfectly fine with this! You're the only one who has a problem with that because you don't know what love exactly means!"

And with that, he rushed out, past Lucy who was standing next to the door, obviously listening to what they've been talking about. Edmund went to his chambers were he paced up and down angrily, kicking his bed every now and then.

"I can't believe I'm even discussing this with you. You should know that it's not right." Peter went out too, and Susan figured he would go to sword practise. That was always his way to handle with his anger, as he feared he would hurt someone if he didn't do anything against it. Edmund would have gone to his chambers, probably to get some work done.

"Susan?"

She looked up. Lucy stood in front of her, looking at her uncertainly.

"Yes, Lucy?" Susan forced herself to speak with difficulty. All she wanted was to go to Edmund's chambers and forget everything in his arms, but she knew he was better left alone for a while. In the meantime, she had plenty of time to figure out what to do next. Peter was against it, he had made that painfully clear. But how could she live without Edmund?

"Are you…are you alright?" Lucy asked nervously, and Susan knew that Lucy all too was aware of the fact that nothing was alright. She sighed.

"Say, Lucy, do you think I'm alright?"

"No. No, I don't think so. I-I just wanted to tell you that I don't think it's not right. I mean, if you really love him-"

"I do."

"Then it can't be wrong."

"Well, Peter disagrees."

Lucy sighed. "He'll come round soon, you'll see. I think he was just shocked by this information."

"And you weren't?"

"Not really. As I said, I had seen it coming. Ages ago, to be perfectly honest."

Edmund sat on his desk, his books about law in front of him and a quill at the ready. Every now and then, a tear dropped on the parchment, but he hastily wiped them away. It wasn't typical for him to weep; normally he was all anger and rage, but this was about Susan, the girl he loved – anger seemed just to be fitting as long as he was talking to his brother. But in his lonely and quiet chambers, his anger had dried away and sadness had come.

There was a knock on the door and Edmund sighed. In the past three hours which he had spent in his room, Lucy had tried to talk to him five times in a row.

"Lucy, I told you I don't want to talk. Could you please bugger off?" he shouted through the closed door, trying to concentrate again on his laws.

"It's not Lucy," a voice that was all too familiar said. Edmund felt himself choke and his eyes burning again as he answered, rather hoarsely: "Come in."

Susan entered his chambers. She had red eyes from crying, but seemed to be composed. To Edmund, she had never looked more beautiful as she came to him and took his hands.

"How are you feeling?" Susan asked, looking into his eyes carefully. Edmund tried to answer that he was fine, but as he looked into her eyes, her beautiful grey eyes he had first fallen in love with, those eyes he had seen almost every evening before falling asleep in the past two months, he knew again what he was about to loose if he would let Peter win. He dropped his head and felt tears running down his cheeks – very untypical for him, but Edmund couldn't care less. His grief took over again as Susan embraced him, her head on his while he leant against her shoulder, soaking the fabric of her dress with tears.

"Please, Edmund, don't cry." she said, stroking his back.

"I can't bear the thought of loosing you," Edmund spluttered between sobs. "But I'm so afraid, Susan. As long as Peter doesn't give his approval we can never tell anyone except him and Lucy, and if someone finds out by other means…you know what this could mean. It could destroy our love, and more, it could destroy us."

"That won't happen," Susan responded. "You know our love can't be destroyed – it's too strong."

Edmund gave a pained sob of grief and closed his eyes, clinging to Susan's body, never wanting to let her go. It just wasn't fair that she, who made him happier than anything in the world, was condemned to make him sadder than anything in the world, too. He wished his brother would understand how important Susan was for him. Edmund couldn't live without her and he was sure if they were parted, no matter by what, he would never recover from his loss. They belonged to each other forever, as he had vowed in the very first night they had loved each other. He had given Susan his heart, the same as she had given hers to him, and parting them would tear both of their hearts apart.

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**A/N²:** Wow, how sappy. Still, there is another chapter to go - and maybe I'll get some more reviews this time? +wink+


	4. Chapter 4

** darkmistress in the shadows:** Wow, thank you for your long review! Don't worry, I'll continue, but sadly that's already the last chapter.

**A/N:** Well, the last chapter. Some insight in Peter's thoughts and I hope you won't hate him. And one rather, chrm, delicate scene.

**Disclaimer: After these chapters it's clear that I'm _not_ C.S. Lewis, isn't it?**

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After some hours of tiring sword practise, Peter walked back to the castle. His anger was gone, but there was still his lack of understanding. He just couldn't understand how someone could fall in love with his sister, it really wasn't normal.

_You're the only who has a problem with that because you don't know what love exactly means__!_ Those words still rang in his ears, every time he thought about the discussion between him and his brother Edmund. What if he was right – what if Peter really didn't understand what love was? What was it that distinguished him from Lucy, who accepted the relationship between Susan and Edmund at once? Was it really that he didn't know love?

No, that was rubbish. Of course he knew what love was. Love was what made Edmund take the Witches icy wand into his stomach to rescue his brother. Love was what made Lucy forgive Edmund that he had been a traitor to all of them. Love was what made Susan shoot a dwarf dead to rescue Edmund. Love was what made Peter wanting to kill the White Witch for hurting his baby brother.

That was all love, but it was sibling love. And what happened to siblings if they suddenly fell in love with each other? That was something Peter couldn't understand. He wished he could understand – because if he could, he wouldn't have over-reacted that much.

As he passed Edmund's chambers, he heard his brother speaking: "But I'm so afraid, Susan."

Peter froze. He was almost sure that Edmund was crying, something he had never seen nor heard in the past years. Leaning in closer, he saw that the door to Edmund's chambers wasn't closed. He could see a bit of the room – Edmund, sitting at his desk, while Susan held him in her arms.

"As long as Peter doesn't give his approval we can never tell anyone except him and Lucy, and if someone finds out by other means…you know what this could mean. It could destroy our love, and more, it could destroy us," Edmund continued, shaking with sobs.

Then Susan answered: "That won't happen. You know our love can't be destroyed – it's too strong."

Closing his eyes, Peter leant against the wall and listened to Edmund's sobs and Susan's attempts to comfort him. He hadn't thought that they cared that much for each other. And now he was about to destroy this loving couple, someone of his own flesh and blood. How could he refuse to accept that they loved each other? And still, they were siblings. Siblings who loved each other that much that the thought of not being together was unbearable.

"I love you, Susan. You don't know how much…" Edmund had calmed down now, his deep voice becoming strong again. This was the Edmund Peter knew – his brother who was self-confident and certain in everything he did.

"Oh, I think I do," Susan was smiling, he could tell by her voice. "I can feel it every time we're together. I love you too, Edmund. And I promise I'll never let anything part us."

Maybe…just maybe, he was wrong. Maybe it wasn't abnormal after all what Edmund and Susan shared. Maybe Peter was only jealous of the love they had, because he just hadn't found anyone yet whom he loved that much to be capable of such sentences and tears. Maybe, maybe they really belonged to each other, never mind the blood relationship.

With a deep drawn sigh, Peter went to his chambers.

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Someone knocked at the door, opening it a bit and peering inside the room.

"Can I come in?" Edmund looked up to see Peter, looking at him uncertainly.

"If you must," he answered, laying down his quill.

Peter came in and sat down on the sofa, apparently trying to find the right words. Edmund watched him quietly while he said to himself that he was not going to say anything. He wasn't going to help his brother, for that he was still too angry with him.

"I'm sorry," Peter spoke then, his gaze fixed on a spot on the floor.

"What for?" Edmund responded drily. "For trying to destroy the one thing in this world I'm currently living for?"

"Please, Ed, just let me explain. There's much I have to say."

They looked at each other for a moment, even if Peter didn't quite meet Edmund's eyes. Edmund was much calmer than he had been hours ago, but that didn't prevent him from being angrier with his brother as he hadn't been in years. And still, he was curious what Peter would say.

"Alright," he said.

"I've been watching the three of you over the past years very closely," Peter began, still not looking into his brother's eyes. "I watched as Lucy made friends with almost entire Narnia, I watched you becoming one of the most handsome young men in Narnia, and I watched Susan being always the gentle, beautiful queen. Lucy was easy to watch, there was no danger for her, and I hope it will continue in that way. You…well, you were easy to watch as you were younger. But as I said, you've grown into a handsome young man and in the past year, I saw that you finally began to make use of it. At first, I didn't pay much attention – I had many, um, bed-partners in my past too. But then, everything got out of hand, and I tried to talk to you. I think you'll remember that-that _other_ talk we had some weeks ago."

"Vividly." Edmund was fascinated. He never thought Peter would talk that freely with him, and he didn't know where this would lead, but he listened nonetheless, his frustration with his brother becoming less with every word Peter said.

"Well, you told me that you got along fine and that you just hadn't found a nice girl yet. And I watched you continue, hoping with every girl that came from your chambers that she would be the nice girl you've been looking for. The same way, I watched Susan, being sad all the time for the last years but trying everything to hide it. I talked to her too, because I wanted to know what made her that unhappy, but she just told me that she was fine. You see – Lucy was happy and protected. You seemed to be happy, but excessive, what made me uneasy. And Susan was unhappy, but she was more or less protected.

But in the past two months, I think, it all changed. Susan became happy again, and you stopped all your debauchery. I tried to see why, but I was blind, until you said, that very morning, that you and Susan had a relationship with each other. Suddenly it all made sense, but it didn't delight me. It was…it was a shock, I really have to say. At first, everything I could think off was the fact that you were brother and sister, that you had the same parents, parents who told me that loving your sister more than is accepted was a sin.

And that lead to what I said that morning. I'm truly sorry for this, and I think I can understand the two of you a bit better. I was angry at everyone, especially at myself, because I thought I hadn't done what I could to protect you."

"But we needn't be protected, Peter," Edmund answered. He got up and sat down next to his brother, who was finally looking him into the eyes.

"It's something that's still inside of me, because I promised Mum as we left her on the train-station in England that I'll keep you three safe. And I failed to do so once already, I don't want it to happen again."

"Still?" Edmund whispered. "You're still thinking about what happened back then with…with the Witch and everything?"

"Almost every day," Peter responded, smiling weakly. "I think it goes with being the oldest, someone has to take the responsibility for everything."

"You're a fool, Peter."

"I know, but you're nothing less. Tell me, Ed…do you really love her?"

"More than anything in the world."

Peter sighed heavily. "And how long have you been able to keep this hidden from me? Lucy seemed to know everything already."

"Well, you answered that question yourself before: two months."

"And you're absolutely sure that she's the girl you've been looking for?"

"Of course. Peter, she's…she's just amazing. I think I've never been so happy in my entire life. The way she looks at me is just so different now, and it makes her so much more beautiful, and I just don't know that I'm even capable of such feelings, but…I really, really love her, and it's so incredible to have someone to care for that much as I do for Susan. Every time I look at her I'm asking myself how it's even possible to have something like this, to share something like this, but all I know is that it is possible, and that I'm finally experiencing this." Edmund drew a deep breath. He hadn't meant to say half of this, to Peter least of all, and here he was, slobbering like a love-sick teenager.

"Well then." Peter smiled. "I guess I have to give my approval to this. Do you forgive me for being such an ass this morning?"

"Um, well, yes. I think so. And you're really fine with Susan and me being together?"

"Yeah, I am. As I said, I watched you closely and that you're together seems to be the best thing that happened to you. I'm glad you've finally found your love and that you seem to be really happy…and Susan too, at last."

"Did you talk to her too?"

"Yes, just before I came to your chambers."

"And what did she say to you?"

"That, dear brother, remains between her and me. You don't have to know everything."

Peter was grinning now, and Edmund found himself grinning as well. He hadn't talked to Peter so much and so freely for many months now, and it felt good to have someone to talk about Susan at last.

"And now," Peter began again. "I'm curious. How did this start?"

"Uh, I don't know really. It just, sort of, happened." Seeing the raised eyebrows of his brother, Edmund sighed theatrically. "Alright, let's see... I realised that I was in love with Susan some days after I had ditched that duchess from Archenland, what-was-her-name…"

"Tuilja?"

"That's the one. A lovely girl, just a bit too talkative. She still sent me letters weeks after I had told her that it was over. Well, I finally realised as I saw Susan sitting at dinner, talking to Lucy and smiling every now and then, that I must feel more for her than I thought. You know, as every girl wasn't the right, I knew the right one had to be right under my nose, and then I saw Susan and…well, I think you know those physical feelings. I began to fight with myself, because I had moral concerns, of course. I mean, I haven't thought that it was a brilliant idea to be with my sister from the start. And then was the Yule Ball, and Susan was so beautiful that evening. Utterly sad, but beautiful. Well, the evening wasn't very funny, and at a point I walked over to her, and we decided to go for a walk together. And I finally pushed myself a bit and, um, sort of kissed her. And she kissed me back and I had those _feelings_ in my stomach I never had before and I just knew she was the right one."

"And how far did you go in the past weeks?"

"Uh…"

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Susan asked breathlessly, tugging at the buttons of his tunic._

_Edmund moaned his approval as she bit into his neck, making him becom__ing warm everywhere. He had her pressed against the dark wall, hidden somewhere between huge bookshelves in the unused library. Everyone was at the ball now; they wouldn't be disturbed for the next hours. He began to open the lace fastenings of Susan's dress, shivering with longing every time she touched him with her lips or opened another button. He had done this so many times by now, and still there was something new about this. Edmund captured her mouth again while he brushed the sleeves of her dress off her shoulders._

"_We'll be going to hell for sure," Susan moaned as she began to open his trousers._

"_So what?" Edmund breathed, but he let go off his sister, stepping back and watching her closely. "Do _you_ want to do this?"_

"_Yes! No. I mean, yes, I want to.__ But…but it's wrong. I mean…"_

"_Susan," he began, wondering how he should tell her about his feelings. "I've been with many girls before. But this time, it feels right. Yes, it really feels right, as right as it had never felt before."_

"_Same here," Susan whispered._

"_That's good! No, I mean, that's fantastic, for heaven's sake." Edmund laughed relieved, as his emotions threatened to take over. "Susan, I never felt like this. I never felt so alive or so much in love as I do now, it seems as if everything just…just makes sense or anything, and I don't care for hell or morals because I just know that we're doing the right thing. And if you feel this too, and if you want it, then I'm yours. I mean, I belong to you, my heart belongs to you and…damn it, I don't know how to tell you how I feel."_

_Instead of an answer, Susan kissed him again. Edmund kissed her back and continued to take off her dress, moaning with pleasure as he felt her hands on his bare skin._

Peter cleared his throat pointedly and clicked his fingers. Edmund shook his head to concentrate on the present again and blushed.

"Judging by your expression, I guess I don't want to know," Peter said drily.

"I wouldn't tell you anyway," Edmund answered, grinning guiltily.

"Well, it doesn't really matter anyway, does it?" With these words, Edmund was pulled into a tight hug by his brother. He closed his eyes and smiled.

* * *

**A/N: **What a horrible endling! But I think you're glad it worked out fine, aren't you? If so, then maybe you want to give me a little review, pretty please?


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